Judge not. Or go ahead, do it anyway.

The summer movie season officially begins Memorial Day weekend in the United States. The Devil Wears Prada 2 was one of the first out of the gate. That got me to wondering what it would be like if Miranda Priestly met with the missionaries? 
 

Get thee up

Not that I'd ever fall asleep reading stories to my kids! And not that they'd find the most obnoxious way to wake me up!
 

Bringing down the house

As I was finishing this up, I had a flash of insight that this could have been more effective if it was elementary-aged kids. Instead of smooth jazz, they would have said, "I'll bet Joshua's army got to play something more exciting than Hot Cross Buns!"

Yet I still wonder whether the walls of Jericho would have come tumbling down to Kenny G or Chuck Mangione?
 

It's going down

This is one of my favorite Old Testament cartoons. 
 

Sketchbook: Hungry?

I like the idea of these missionary heads gobbling up everything in sight. But when I tried to move it beyond the sketchbook, it looked a little gruesome!
 

Abby

Maybe I spent too much time as a youth listening to the soundtracks of My Turn on Earth and Saturday's Warrior at full volume. But whatever the reason, my hearing isn't exactly what it used to be. So when the missionaries challenged us to share the gospel, as Pres. Uchtdorf says, "in normal and natural ways" somehow I heard it as "normal unnatural ways!"

I tried to save this idea for October, but I couldn't wait. Naturally.
 

Going deep

These kinds of hypothetical discussions are sometimes fun to have. Personally I think the missionaries would think they struck gold if they knocked into Bluey's family. Hello Kitty might be a little too aloof to be interested beyond a few discussions, IMHO.

But what I'd really like to see? Muffin in the nursery
 

Emergency repair kit

This should come with a warning that missionary moms should not read this one. However, I can't tell you the number of times as a missionary that I made emergency repairs using tape of one kind or another. Staples can work in a pinch, but they can also be hazardous in their own right.
 

C'est parfait

I think this is going to be my new motto.
 

Sketchbook: Never can say goodbye

If there's a recurring theme in the books of Moses, it's the notion that people a resistant to change. Nobody really wants to leave Egypt!
 

Would you like a towel with that? Or perhaps a firehose?

It could be worse. It could include giants and grasshoppers!
 

That's just super!

Day two.

Honestly, all I did for this one was draw what's in my wife's closet.
 

A voice of warning unto the family

I'm sick today, so I'm rerunning this one from last year. It's a good reminder.
 

By the Numbers

I suppose it all depends on how you define "story problems." Moses had a lot he was dealing with!
 

Sketchbook: May the Fourth

Luke often reminds me of an earnest, new missionary, fresh from the MTC. He goes barging in with great intent, but not much of a plan.

Han, on the other hand, is a senior companion who is two transfers away from going home.

Happy Star Wars Day!
 

Purple and scarlet and fine twined linen

Somehow I think the Lord's instructions would be a lot easier to follow than some of those DIY kits to make stuff.
 

Palate cleansers

We had the missionaries over for dinner the other night — Elder Randolph from Utah and Elder Childs from Nevada — and we asked them what their favorite dishes were for dinner. We got some interesting answers. One of them said "chicken soup," which I never would have guessed.

It reminded me of some of the chicken soup I was served as a missionary (claws and all). There was another soup that was a missionary favorite, miyeok-guk I think it was called. We just called it "creatures of the deep." It frightened me.

There was more than one dinner appointment that I dreamed of having instead a Brick Oven pizza or a Big H burger. Imagine my excitement to learn that in my new area they had both a "MacDonald" and a "Kenturkey Flied Chicken"! MacDonald wasn't bad — good burgers and a mascot that looked like the Oregon Duck. After looking in the windows of the "KFC" we decided it was safer not to go in.

Nowadays I find myself with a longing for good, authentic Korean food. Weird how that works!

 

Fridge worthy

We've been having fun with our Primary class and the stories of Moses. We made a book of the plagues, we made Play-doh fishes when they crossed the Red Sea, and we drew pictures of the Ten Commandments.* I don't know how much the kids learned, but they made art!

Incidentally, this is exactly how I feel whenever I finish a cartoon. It may not be funny, but it's art! I have no less authority than Calvin and Hobbes on this one.

*We did taste-testing for manna, but it was way less artistic than the other lessons. Variety, right?

 

They're keepers

Yes, I know that moms serve in other places — I would never dare disrespect the Young Womens program! — and I know there are women who are not mothers who are in Relief Society. I'm taking literary (or is it ecclesiastical?) license for the sake of a joke.

Thank you.
 

Sketchbook: Monday, Monday

Mondays were our P-day. We were excited to see them come, but by the end of the day we were often worn out. These missionaries are probably at the end of a P-day Monday rather than at the beginning!
 

Two factor authentication

Hahaha.

Again, I hope Moses is forgiving!
 

We're going to the promised land!

I think many of us can relate to how Moses felt as he led the children of Israel.
 

Hot off the electronic press!

I know this is something you've been clamoring for: the Kindle edition of our Disney book, The Pickletons go to Disney. It's now available on Amazon! 

Written by fellow cartoonist Ryan Stoker and illustrated by me (although I did write two of the cartoons!), the book is described thus: 

"It doesn't matter if you've been once or a hundred times. Disney parks are the most amazing, magical places to visit with your family! They can also be the most frustrating, expensive and comical experiences of your life as well!"

For your reading pleasure, you now have the choice of hard copy, electronic — or both! Get your copy today. It's almost as good as being there!

What's in a name?

According to Pres. Nelson, peculiar comes from the translation of the Hebrew word segullah. That means it could be translated as "valued property" or "treasure."

It's also possible that peculiar child could also be translated as "weird kid."
 

I'm trying to liken!

It's like that old saying, "There's a Mothers Day and and Fathers Day, why isn't there a Children's Day?"

The answer? "Every day is Children's Day!"
 

Sketchbook: Some assembly required

I can imagine Aaron standing by, watching the people making an idol. But two things irritated him. One, that they were making an idol, and two, they were doing it wrong — and that drove him nuts! He stepped in to fix it because they were messing it up. At least that's how I imagine it; I can't imagine Aaron volunteering to make a god after all the experiences he'd had with Moses.
 

But we have our permission slips!

Long walks almost every day. Hot, dry desert. Limited food and water resources. I've chaperoned field trips where the kids griped if they had to be on the bus for a whole hour! I can't imagine what it was like for Moses!

I struggled with how to describe the trip: worst? best? longest? most boring? I think I made the right choice in the end. Forty years is a long field trip!
 

Another milestone

Wow. I just reached the 6,000th post on this site! A few of them have even been funny!

Thank you for coming along on this ride. I hope there are many more to come!

*I have a tradition of running my first published cartoon when I reach significant milestones. Enjoy!

 

Some days are like that

I've seen kids fall asleep in nursery, and I've seen tired teachers, but I've never seen a kid leave sharing time who wasn't full of energy!
 

It's a mystery

My guess is they got a deal on the day-old stuff.

I love that the literal definition of manna derives from man hu, which means, "What is it?" Seems like the perfect food for the school cafeteria, the precursor of mystery meat.
 

Sketchbook: That stinks

Scatalogical humor has no place on this website, thank you very much.

Maybe he should have been sitting on a stool in the corner a la Dennis the Menace. But I liked the idea of bubbles in the tub.

And this is as far as this sketchbook is ever going.
 

Those Red Sea moments

My version is trying to make it across the bridge to home during rush hour. Some days it feels impossible!
 

Was that to go?

Hahaha.

I've said it before, and I'll likely say it again: I hope those old prophets have a sense of humor!

 

One more verse

 

Morning has broken

We've all had — or been — that companion.
 

Sketchbook: In the court of Pharaoh

Although this does correspond with this week's Come, Follow Me, it's easy to understand why this stayed in the sketchbook.
 

General Conference: Sunday Afternoon Session

 

General Conference: Sunday Morning Session

 

The Resurrection

"And when she had thus said, she turned herself back and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.

"Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou hast borne him hence, tell me where thou has laid him, and I will take him away.

"Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.

"Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God."

Happy Easter!

 

General Conference: Saturday Afternoon sketch notes

 

General Conference: Saturday Morning sketch notes